Thursday, January 23, 2014

What neglect means

Dad thinks he is teaching me a new word. He calls it neglect. He says it is what I need to get used to when Mom brings the new baby home for our pack. He says he is showing me just a little of what it will be like by not writing my blog posts for me.

He is doing this because he thinks he is smarter than me, but he is not smarter than me at all.

He is not smarter than me because he is already forgetting that I am a dog. So what do I care about a blog post? The only post I care about is the one that smells like boy-doggie pee. Some of you might say that this blog post smells like boy-doggie pee, but I am pretty sure that you have not spent a lot of time smelling boy-doggie pee. I WISH this post smelled like boy-doggie pee!

And also, I have been teaching both HIM and MOM about neglect for FOREVER. All night long I ignore them and sit in the Upstairs sleeping. And even when they are at home during the day I sleep or pretend to sleep and I don't pay any attention to them. And in the middle of the night, when they are sleeping THE MOST, I pretend like I don't even know that they are there and I start HOWWWWWLING just as loud as I can! THAT is neglect. Not typing up my blog post is just being busy doing other things.

And if Mom and Dad think they've figured out neglect, then wait until they bring my new pack-baby home. Then they will see what a doggie acts like when it neglects everything they tell it to do. I will not do anything except lick kisses at my new baby brother, and watch to make sure that no one tries to eat him. And chew up all his toys, because he doesn't even know what they're supposed to look like anyway. Maybe they came that way! He doesn't know. And maybe when everyone is so tired I will "neglect" to stay out of the food-room, and "neglect" to not eat all of the food I can reach at once, and "neglect" to wait until I go outside to poop.

Then EVERYONE will know exactly what "neglect" means.

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