Friday, September 20, 2013

Boy trouble

Ugh... Boys are trouble.

Yesterday I told you about my new necklace that makes it SO EASY to hear Mom and Dad. And it has made walking with them THE BEST, because they are talking so sweet to me. But now that I can hear them so well, I heard something that makes me not know what to feel!

And before all of that, I also told you about my break-up with my forever-boyfriend, deer-chickory. But I didn't tell you that I saw him again just a few days ago. I just wasn't ready to talk about it. But now, because of what necklace said to me, I have to.

I saw deer-chickory the same day Dad and I went on our walk that turned into a fast walk later on, which was great (SOOO GREAT!!!) because we haven't done that together in SO LONG!! But it was also great because I had just seen deer-chickory and a slow walk just wasn't going to be enough.

And when we saw each other at first I didn't really want to see him, so I tried to keep walking. But Dad stopped when he saw him and... and I don't know WHAT Dad was thinking, because he should know all about what happened, since he's the one that typed it up for my blog!... but he stopped to say "Hi" anyway. And deer-chickory came right over and sniffed me and everything just like he didn't disappear after we slept togeth... (Okay, Dad! Whatever! )... after we napped together that day!

But he WAS really nice. He even sniffed and said "Hi" to Dad, which now I know Dad likes the BEST. And later, after a long time on our fast walk, I knew again what I figured out before, which is that it is relationships that are hard. So I decided that I shouldn't make it so hard with deer-chickory, just to make it about him. And I decide that I still like deer-chickory the BEST, because he's so nice... and cool (Deer-chickory is SO cool!). But I also figured out that he can't be my forever-boyfriend, because relationships are hard, so that means that boys can't be forever. And that is why I have a problem I have to talk about now.

Because today, after Dad put necklace on me, it told me that I'm not going to have a baby sister. I'm going to have a baby brother. And first I thought, "Oh! Mom is making us a boy!!!" And then I thought more, "YAY!! A BOY! He'll fast walk with me at the park the MOST! And he'll bounce tennis balls to me all day long!! And boys scream and run the loudest when you lick them in the face, and THAT IS SOOOO MUCH FUN!!! And I will never be lonely again, EVER!!"

But then thought I even more, "Oh no! What if people-boys are like dog-boys and then my new baby brother won't be my forever-brother. And if that's true, then maybe I shouldn't like him first so I will not get hurt so bad." And then I felt bad already because I had already started loving him. And now I love him but don't like him and I feel hurt by him already and he's not even here yet!

And, I don't know why, but that is when Dad reached down and scratched me on the side of my neck like he does when I do something good, or when I wake up in the morning, or when he feeds me. And he does it all of the times when I know that he loves me the MOST. And then I remembered that Dad is a boy too, and he's forever for sure! So maybe boys CAN be forever. But then that means that relationships are even harder than I knew already. And now that I know this much, I feel like I don't know anything at all! And most of all I don't know what I'm supposed to feel, anymore!!

But I do know one thing the MOST... boys are trouble.

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