Saturday, September 7, 2013

Night training

Last night I started training Mom and Dad for my new baby sister or brother.

When I was at Doggie Goddess a few days ago, I told my pack that I'm going to be a big doggie-sister soon, and everyone was SO HAPPY for me! I think.... Everyone is always so happy there, so sometimes it is hard to tell if they are happy for you or just happy. Also, right after that pepper-oak-smell and too-old-sneakers-smell both said some things that got me worried.

They said that people-babies REALLY don't work well AT ALL. They said they have people-babies in their home-packs and that people-babies wake up in the middle of the night over and over again. And that they cry and pee and poop all the time, but especially when you want to sleep the most. And they said that if I hadn't already had a people-baby in my house then no one -- not even Mom or Dad -- were anywhere near ready for it. They said that my people Mom and Dad would forget about me, because the people babies are SO MUCH WORK!! And they would forget to feed me, and to let me take them out on walks, and to have any fun with me at all. And I told them they were liars, but I was worried anyway because I don't really think they were lying to me at all. I think they were right.

I already know that babies cry a lot. And I already know that little people don't work well. They are wiggly the right way, but they sometimes can't even stand up. And when they do stand up they always fall down again. I didn't know that they can't sleep well either, but it makes sense since they aren't good at anything else. And if all of that is true, then maybe pepper-oak and too-old-sneakers were also right that Mom and Dad aren't ready at all. And maybe it's true that they will forget about me. And I will be hungry and sleepy and never get any food or sleep again.

And that seems like a really bad thing. So last night I started training Mom and Dad for my new baby sister or brother.

First, I made sure that I didn't poop right during the day. I tried to hold it in all day starting in the morning, but I accidentally pooped twice when Mom took me to the park. I couldn't help it! I got SO EXCITED to go to the park with Mom because she uses the big throwing stick and can throw tennis balls even further than Dad!! And she and I like to play the game where I find someone else who has a tennis ball and I jump on them! Then she comes over and says, "No Nima!" Like she didn't already know I was going to do it. IT IS THE FUNNIEST GAME, EVER!!!! And it is so fun that I pooped twice even though I was trying not too. But it was still good enough because when we went to sleep-time I stayed up until everyone was asleep for a long time, and then I kept thinking about pooping until I really had to go again. REALLY.

And first I woke up Mom and said that I NEED to go poop NOW! And she said, "whhhaaaat?" And then I went around to Dad and I said that I REALLY, REALLY NEED to go poop NOW!!! And he scratched my head nice and rolled over. But then Mom woke up enough to figure it out and she said something to Dad and he got up and took me outside to poop.

WHEW! I'm panting just thinking about it!

But it wasn't the last part of last night's training, because people-babies wake up a lot every night, according to too-old-sneakers and pepper-oak. So I stayed up even longer, and after everyone was asleep for a long time, I got up and walked over to the tiny clothes room near Dad... And I took in a deep breath... And then I started HOWLING my loudest "HOOOWWWWLLLLLLL!!!" right into the closet! And Dad sat right up and said, "SSSHHHH NIMA, SHHHHHH!" And then I said, "HOOOWWWWLLLLLLL!!!" And he said it again, but quieter, "shhh, nima shhh." Which was good, because he was still calm and he still didn't forget me. And then he said I should come over to the bed and he let me lick his hand, because... well... I'm not sure why he did that, but maybe I'll figure it out if he does it again in his training tonight.

Because tonight I'm going to keep training Mom and Dad for my new baby sister or brother. Too-old-sneakers and pepper-oak might not have been lying to me, but if I get Mom and Dad trained well enough, then they won't be right either.

No comments:

Post a Comment