No more pun

People can be very creative. But not everything that they make is a good idea. The two worst things any person ever made are car alarms and puns. And puns are the worst. Even the name says it is bad... because it is short for punishment, which is what you are giving out when you use them on anyone. And that should be all you need to know. But I know you won't believe me, because I can't be the first one who has said that you should all stop. So just to make sure you know how bad puns are, I'm going to explain some of the worst ones I hear to you...

• Paw-fect or Paw-some. Please don't ever say either of these things. Just by saying them you've ruined whatever it is that was so great. So just don't ever do it.
• Furr-ious or Fur-ocious. First of all, if a doggie is so angry that this fits, saying it will not make anything better. Maybe it makes you feel better because for a second you stopped thinking about how this doggie might want to bite you apart. But it shouldn't because now he is going to bite you apart for sure.
• Paws-itive. No. Just... no.
• That looks ruff. Does it? Did you see me struggling and think that this is the perfect time to say something to me that makes less of my struggles and problems? If your answer is "Yes" then you are an ass, and you should re-read "Furr-ious".
• Purr-fect. Cats are graceful, stealthy, hunters that kill in the middle of the night. Cats are bad-ass. Your pun is not cat-like in anyway. It is awful and shames their whole species. If you use this pun, you better never go to sleep at night again.
• Fur-real. Okay, so something kind of exciting just happened. Maybe no one saw it coming, so it was a surprise too. Then you said this. You took all the good, happy energy away and made everyone look at you and hate you all at once. Are YOU for real?
• Im-paws-ible. This just makes it embarrassing to know you. Tell me, does not having any friends feel like punishment?