Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Things like that

Did you know you can tell somebody a thing that is not actually a thing? Like, I can tell you I'm not hungry, when really I am hungry. But, no wait... that's not a good example, because I'm always hungry. And why would I tell you I'm NOT hungry? If I told you that, you might not feed me, so that would just be stupid... okay, lets try this again.

You can tell someone a thing that's not an actual thing... like, "I have to poop really bad right NOW!!" Yeah, that's a better one. You can tell someone THAT, so then they'll take you outside right away... And then you can be outside the fastest! And you can say it like, "I have to poop right NOW!!! And, also, I have to poop over at the park. So we better start going there now!!! Yeah, I know it's still night time. But, hey, I've got to poop SO BAD!! You HAVE to take me outside! PLEASE!?!?!?"

And then when you get outside, you can just do what you want, because you're outside where you wanted to be. You can say, "But we have to walk THIS way!" And then you can pull real hard up the hill away from your house, so you won't have to go back inside already. And you can get at least halfway up the hill before your person starts to wonder why you're walking so far and not pooping yet. And then you can say, "It has to be at the park!!!" Because that's where you want it to be at, even though the poop thing was not actually a thing.

But you have to watch out, because the person who you took out with you might also tell you a thing that is not a thing, like, "We can't go to the park now, because they took it away. Yeah, actually they took all the loud-sky-clap things that you hate the most and they put it in the park and used them to blow the park up. So it is gone now. Maybe they'll put another one there tomorrow, but right now it is all the way gone. We better go back inside in case there are any more loud-sky-clap things laying around."

Did you know people will say things that aren't actually things like that the most?

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