Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Um... awkward!

You know people are not the most social animals... I mean they DO like to spend time with each other, or with doggies, or even with cats. And people are nice, and always have food, so they can be the BEST to spend time with! But they are not always good at being social.

When I see people, I try run up to them right away and sniff them "Hi!" And if they are nervous, I try to jump on them so that they will know that I can be in charge and can take care of them the best no matter what. And so many times people don't even know to say hi back! (If you are NOT nervous, you should just sniff my butt. And if you ARE nervous, you should pee in front of me... And then sniff my butt.) Instead people just get more nervous -- which doesn't even make any sense, because I already showed you that I'm going to cover you no matter what! So I jump on them even more, so that they know I will take care of them the best! And then Mom or Dad pulls me down and makes me lay down in front of a nervous person - and that makes NO sense at ALL, because that says that this super-nervous person is supposed to take care of me! No way!! Now if Mom or Dad jumped on them next it would totally make sense, but they never do that. So you can see what I mean about people being bad at being social.

But it doesn't stop there! Even when people aren't nervous, they still get it all wrong. Sometimes when my Mom or Dad miss me the most, they come up and give me a big hug... That is SOOO AWKWARD!!! I mean they are totally in my space with their head next to my head instead of next to my butt, WHERE IT SHOULD BE. And so they are saying that they are going to bite me, even though I know they won't. I mean it almost hurts how wrong they are, so I have to look away and maybe close my eyes. The least they could do is let me put my head down into their chest or crotch and then they could scratch my butt. But they can't even do that! This is just embarrassing for both of us!

And don't even get me started on taking pictures with this hand box!! The first thing they do is get in front of me and square off on me. ON ME!!! We are supposed to be in a pack together and they are squaring off on ME??!!!! And when I turn away from them, because they are SAYING that they are going to attack me if I don't show them that they are the boss, they just move in front of me again... So now I have to look away again. Seriously, sometimes I don't even think they know what they are saying.

Really? Are you still taking pictures? Did you not just hear anything I said? ...This is so awkward.

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