Saturday, November 23, 2013

Dog on smarts

Doggies are smarter than people. I only say that because it is true. And because you think I'm wrong. So here's why I'm right... and smarter.

When you're a doggie, you have to figure EVERYTHING out for yourself, because there is no one to tell you how anything works. Dad tries to tell me, but he keeps using words like "technically" and that makes me think he's an ass, so I stop listening. Well, that's exactly not true. He does sometimes use the word "technically" and that does mean that he's telling me something that he knows AND that he knows that I don't know it. AND it also means that he knows that I don't need to know it, but he's going to tell me about it anyway. So he IS being an ass. But the truth is, I'm not listening because none of his words make sense anyway. I don't speak people, and I don't read words. So he can talk all he wants, but none of it is going to help me a whole lot.

And that's the point. How many things do you know how to do because someone told you about it. You didn't figure it out all by yourself. You just kept saying, "Why?" forever, until you took everything that person knew from them, so you would know it, too (or until they walked away from you because they thought you were being an ass). That doesn't mean you are smarter than me, it just means your life is easier than mine.

So I might not know how waving a people-paw in front of that place on the wall can make the light go on. And I might not know how to wrap my paw around the round-thing on the wall-way to open it when I need to go outside. And I might not know how to get all the food I want out of the food-room. But I figured out all by myself that I don't have to know any of those things. If it is dark, I can still see okay, and everything smells and sounds just as big anyway. If I need to go outside, I can just stare at the door and sing a sad-bark song and Mom or Dad will open it for me. And if I need food, I just sit next to Mom or Dad and lick their feet until they get food for me. I figured all of that out by myself. And I figured out that I have two people who will do all of these things for me. So not only am I smarter than people, I don't have to work as hard as them either. And that means my life is easier than yours, too.

Just don't ask me why.

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