All day

Okay, seriously. Where do you people go all day?

After I get peanut butter, you are gone. I get that part... Okay, I love that part! But after that both you AND peanut butter are gone and I HATE that part!!

If I were you, I would go to the park or to Doggie Goddess. But when you come home, you don't smell like those places or any other place that I've been. So you must go to a place I have never met. And it must be the greatest place EVER, because why else would you go there so much? I would LOVE to go there the MOST! I WISH YOU WOULD TAKE ME THERE!!!

But maybe you don't take me there on purpose. Maybe I wouldn't like it there... Or maybe there wouldn't like me first! Why would you go to a place that doesn't like me?! I HATE that place! I WISH YOU DIDN'T GO THERE!!!

Are there other doggies where you go? Are you in another pack without me?! You are wrong to be in two packs!! Why would you be against me?! I WISH YOU WOULD STAY AWAY FROM OTHER PACKS!!!

Or maybe it is a place that is safe for people but not for dogs,... like the place that gave me my neck-cone that one time. If that is where you go, you can leave me home every time!!! I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN TO THAT PLACE!!!

Or maybe I don't want to know where you go all day. Maybe it means things that can only make sense to people... like why you would want to stare at a flat noisy picture on a wall... or not eat all the food on your plate... or not eat all the food in the house! I WISH I COULD EAT FOOD RIGHT NOW!!!

What's that sound? Are you opening the door now? ARE YOU HOME! I WISH YOU WOULD OPEN THE GATE, ALREADY!!!

Oh, I guess that wasn't the door...

Seriously, where do you people go all day?