Sunday, July 14, 2013

Sometimes I don't know what to feel

Yesterday I saw the doggie that is trying to be my fuzin. He was on the street and I was out on the downstairs open place in my house which is still way higher than the street. He was tied to Uncle Zak, which is how I knew him right away and I started to get angry at him already! He was also with salmon-wheat-smell who is my friend from next door and who was tied to his person too. I could see that my fuzin is not big at all so I am going to be the big cuzin for sure! So then I was going to sing my angry song to him so that he would know that too.

But then I saw that he was afraid...

Sometimes doggies get afraid when a big doggie is being mean to them. And sometimes doggies are afraid when the sky-clap sounds are really loud, or bad people makes really loud clap sounds. But salmon-wheat-smell was not being mean and there were no clap sounds when I was seeing fuzin. I looked harder at fuzin and I sniffed real hard. Even from where I was I could smell that he was afraid because he was hurt and because other people and dogs had hurt him alot before. He was afraid that doggies and people would hurt him forever. That made me angry at people who I don't know when I always love people so much (SO MUCH!!!) before I even meet them. And it made me confused because I started to like fuzin when I thought I was going to be angry at him. And it made me want to be his cuzin for real.

That's why I decided to change my mind and make him my friend. And since we will live in the same house we will be able to spend lots of time in the upstairs outside place together, and play toss, and chase, and have sleep overs, and play pee-ball. And I will never be lonely again ever!!! And then I got happy and waggy. And I wanted to sing my happy song down to him so that he would know that too. And later whenever I went past the door to the other side of my house where Auntie Kristen and Uncle Zak stay, I stopped and sniffed and waited for them to open the door so I could meet my new cuzin.

But today my Dad said that my new cuzin couldn't stay. He said that he was hurt too bad and had to go to get Therapies and find a home with no stairs and can't stay with Auntie Kristen and Uncle Zak. And I was confused again because I stay with Uncle Zak and Auntie Kristen sometimes and they are the best Auntie and Uncle. And all the doggies have fun when they come visit them. And then I remembered that I wouldn't get to meet my new cuzin, or play chase, or have sleep overs with him forever! And then I was lonely and I wanted to sing my sad-lonely song to myself. And then my Dad said that it's been a tough run for my cuzin and auntie and uncle, but that Therapies means that he'll get the right kind of care that he needs and he won't be afraid forever anymore. And he said that this is because Auntie Kristen and Uncle Zak found out how bad he had been hurt before. And so it was a good thing and so that made me happy again (SO HAPPY!!!).

And that made me confused because it didn't make sense that I would be happy that I was alone and that he was hurt so bad... so sometimes I don't know what to feel.

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