Friday, July 12, 2013

Super Powers

I eat stuff that makes me sick. On purpose.

I hear Mom and Dad say that I'm not too smart when I keep eating the things that make me feel sick. "She doesn't get it because she doesn't get sick until hours later or the next day." Well, I don't know what "hours later" are, but I know what makes me sick, and I know how much of it I need to eat, and I know the places where I can find it. I also always look for new things that I can eat that will make me sick, so that I will know them too.

When you get sick, everything feels more. You can feel parts of your body you don't usually feel. You feel it more when people touch you, or when you move your head even a little bit. Things sound louder and farther apart too. And best of all smells become super huge! When you get sick you have super powers!!!

And those little grey guys with the fluffy tails that run up the tall things outside are hard to sneak up on, so you need super powers.

And those little grey guys with fluffy tails are annoy... No Dad, you have to write it like I say it! And those little grey guys with fluffy tails are assholes. Someone needs to put them in their place, and that place is not way up the tall things outside! Sometimes they stay away from you when you're outside. But when you're outside and tied to your people, the little grey guys with fluffy tails don't stay as far away. They run right past you and they wave their tail at you, and they make fun of you because everyone knows your people will get lost if you try to chase them and the rope comes off. And when you're inside they come right up to the window and they eat things that you can't get to, and sometimes they eat things that will make you sick right in front of you so that you know that they have super powers too!!

Whenever I see one of those little grey guys with fluffy tails, I stand really still and calmly tell Mom or Dad, or whatever person I'm tied to, to stay right where they are and that I will come back and get them after I put this little guy in the right place for him. But the people always get too scared that they will get lost and they hold onto the rope tighter and pull me close. So I have to keep eating food that makes me sick so that when I do finally get to chase one of those little grey guys with fluffy tails, I will catch him and then he will not be an asshole anymore.

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