Bad Luck

Dad closes the gate at the top of the stairs when he makes me go to bedtime at night or when Peanut Butter tells him to do it in the morning and... You know how people have small noses and can't smell things too good? I think this is why he can't smell the stinky thing in the garbage that needs to come out. At least he does not smell it so loud that he cannot fall asleep. Like me.

Stinky thing, I'm sorry they put you in the throw away garbage before you were all the way dead. It is not your fault and I want to help you! I come upstairs when I smell you and I want to find you and pull you out and shake you and chew you up so that you will not be suffering anymore ever. And then I will be so happy for you!! But Dad closed the gate and I don't know how to open it. I try looking for you in the garbage when I can be upstairs. But Mom and Dad keep people-barking at me and so that I have to stop. Soon they will tie up the bag and will take it away when you are still not all of the way dead. I'm singing my sad-bark song for you, stinky thing.

Stinky thing, I need you to stop stinking out loud. It is not my fault you are still in the garbage and not all of the way dead. When I do fall asleep, you are making my dreams smell loud too and I am feeling bad for you in them. And then I wake up and can't fall back asleep until I pull things out of the downstairs throw away garbage that are not even stinky. It's not helping you. I just need to feel better so I can fall back asleep.

When I was still a puppy I used to try real hard to show Mom and Dad that there were stinky things that were stinking out loud. I would pull everything out of the garbage and spread it across the floor for them to smell it all at once and see the stinky thing that I helped not suffer anymore ever. But they would just put everything back in the throw away garbage and not pet me for a good job. That was how I figured out that small noses can't smell the stinky things until they are screaming their smells so loud (SO LOUD!!!). So it's not their fault either. Stinky thing, you just have bad luck.