Thursday, August 29, 2013

Accidental sarcasm

I pooped in the downstairs... Mostly on my bed... But a little on the floor too.

You know how it is sometimes hard to know when people mean what they say? I mean it's always kind of hard, because people don't speak doggie. But even when you think you heard their people-talk right, you still don't really know what they mean. Dad says sometimes people don't mean what they say or purpose. He says it's called sarcasm, and it is where you say what you DON'T mean, and everyone knows what you REALLY mean is the opposite of what you said -- I know. It's hard to talk to my Dad. But I asked him anyway, if he ever talks in sarcasm to me, and he said, "No, never." And since I know we were talking about sarcasm when he said it, and I know that "never" is never a true thing to say, I knew that he was just showing me exactly what he means by sarcasm and what he was really saying was "Yes, sometimes I do."

And it's true. Sometimes he says, "sit" and I don't sit, and we just keep doing what we were doing anyway - like going out the front door together, or going down the front stairs right behind him. So he must have just been saying it sarcastically. But sometimes he says "sit" and he means it. And some of these times I'm not sure, so I wait at first. And he says it again. And I wait to be sure. And then he says it louder. And I start to lower my bottom just a little bit to be really sure. And he says, "yeeeaaaahhh..." and then I sit, and he says "good dog" and I think that means that he did mean it and he was not just being sarcastic.

So what I'm saying is it can be really hard to know when someone is being sarcastic.

And so the other day -- when I told everyone my perfect four part plan for protecting my future baby-people brother or sister, and Dad typed it up and published my post, and THEN he said that I wouldn't have to poop in the downstairs (which is kind of the most important part of my plan!) -- I thought he must be being sarcastic this time! I mean he sounded like he meant it, but he always sounds like he means it. He even sounds MORE like he means it when he doesn't mean it. And he really sounded like he meant it this time, which is what made me so sure that he really didn't mean it -- which meant that what he really meant was that I SHOULD poop in the downstairs.

So I did...

...Poop in the downstairs...

...Mostly on my bed. But a little on the floor too.

And I was right about the smell! It was really stinky-strong! It really would help cover the smell of the baby. Everyone agrees on THAT. It proves it really is a good plan!!

But it turns out Dad did mean what he ACTUALLY said -- Which was NOT to poop in the downstairs.

So now I know never to poop in the downstairs again...

...Unless I know that sarcastically.

1 comment:

  1. Never poop indoors!!!!!!! You'll never get in trouble.
    Auntie Janie