Monday, August 12, 2013


When you are a doggie raised by people who don't know how to be a doggie, then sometimes you don't know how to do the things that a doggie needs to be able to do...

I love (LOVE!!!!) to make new people friends, and new doggies friends, and go to parties, and to not be by myself. But sometimes those things are scary too. Sometimes I don't know what another person or doggie is going to be like. Maybe they are not going to like me back, or maybe they are even more scared than me, or maybe they will be mean to me! If they look scared, then I don't know what they are going to do, because scared people and doggies don't always think right. So no matter what, I try real hard to be a new person or doggie's friend fast. But sometimes that can make them even more scared and then they can be dangerous. And if they are dangerous, then that can make me scared and then it gets hard for me to think, too. Other things can also be scary. Loud clap sounds are scary. And being left all alone is very scary! All of these things make it hard for me to think. And when I can't think, then I don't know what is a right thing to do and what is a wrong thing to do.

I need to know how to not be too scared. But sometimes a thing that feels like it is going to help ends up making me feel worse. Chewing something feels the best at first, because you can chew whatever it is as hard as you are feeling scared inside. You can bite it the hardest, and rip it open and chew up all the little bits. And when you do it as hard as you feel scared then that kind of feels like balance. And balance feels sort of like being calm, which feels less like being scared... When I was younger and Mom and Dad left me alone at home, I would chew everything I could get my mouth on. I would chew wood things, and plastic things, and metal things and things that were taped back together. I even chewed up a whole roll of tape to try not to be too scared. And even now, when Mom and Dad leave me alone I still want to chew things, and sometimes I do. But chewing doesn't make it better for long. When you're done chewing you're still alone and you're still scared, and now you don't have anything left to chew so everything is out of balance again. And then you feel even more alone and scared, because the only thing you could think to do didn't work, so then what?!

I'm still looking for new things that can make me feel less scared. But one thing that helps is Suntime. It can happen whenever there is sun and wherever I can find it. It happens at the park, and on my balcony at home, or in my house when the sunbeam comes to visit inside, or at Doggy Goddess in the outside and in the upstairs. I have to look for Suntime, but it is not too hard to find. So it helps me start to think again, because it is not so hard a think that I can't do it even when I am scared. Suntime also makes me slow down, because I have to stay -- or better yet, lay -- in one place to do it. But I also have to pay attention to Suntime, because it can sneak away slowly. It is like it is moving and not moving at the same time. And paying attention to it can make it easier to not pay attention to what was scaring me, and then I can stop thinking about what was scaring me and calm down, which is one thing every doggie needs to know how to do.

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