Knowing Shoes

People put on different things everyday to make themselves look different. But the most important thing they put on is what they put on their feet. Dad says they're called shoes. He says that's also what you say when you want someone to go away. That makes sense because I always see people put on shoes before they go away. When I was younger, I wanted to chew all the shoes up, so that Mom and Dad would never go away. But that didn't work because they have SO MANY shoes! And also because they started putting them where I couldn't get them. But after a while I figured out that if I just watched which shoes they put on, then I could know more about where they were going and how long they would be gone.

The best is when Dad puts the old smelly soft ones on. That's when I know I'm going out, and that is the BEST! Whenever I see him put on those shoes, I jump and spin the most, because I might even be going to the park! And that is even more the BEST!!! Mom has old soft shoes too, and they mean the same thing. When either one of them put those shoes on, I don't even wait for them to tell me where we're going, I just start stretching, because that always feels best before a long walk or play in the park.

When Mom or Dad put on the open-top ones that clap on their feet, I'm almost for sure going out too, but it will just be for a walk. Those kinds of shoes never make it into the park. But it is still good when they put them on, because then I can sniff all my streets and catch up with my doggie neighbors through their pee-smells. Now that Dad put me on the Facebooks, I know that the pee-smells in my neighborhood that doggies put there are just the same as the things people post on the Facebooks. It's all stuff about what someone is eating or drinking, or where they just were, and who is somewhere with someone else at the same time. Doggies started doing it way before people, but I'm glad people have a place to do that now, too!

Those are the two best kinds of shoes, but I get excited when they put on other ones too. Dad says I am an always optimist, because I always say the best is about to happen next. So when Mom or Dad put on their long, narrow shoes -- which means that they're going away for a long time -- then I think, maybe this time, this shoe will mean that I get to go with them! And I jump and spin so that they will think so too! But even when I don't get to go with them it is still the best, because it means that I get to go downstairs with peanut butter!! There are lots of other shoes that mean they're going out for a shorter times, and that I won't get to go with them. I sometimes get peanut butter then too, but if just one of them puts on one of those shoes and the other one doesn't put on any, then I know that means only one of them is going out and I will stay home. And as much as I love (LOVE!!) going out, and I love (LOVE!!) peanut butter, the thing I LOVE the most and is when I know that Mom or Dad will stay home with me.